We Ride Bikes

iSi, se puede!

March 1968:  Presidential Candidate, Sen. Robert Kennedy joins Cesar Chavez as he breaks his 25 day hunger strike in support of the United Farm Workers' union. It is this dedication to non-violence that is Mr. Chavez's legacy.

Today is Mr. Chavez's 78th birthday and I ask that you please remember those who dedicated their lives to helping others improve their own.

In his own words:

• We cannot seek achievement for ourselves and forget about progress and prosperity for our community…Our ambitions must be broad enough to include the aspirations and needs of others, for their sakes and for our own.

• There's no turning back. We will win. We are winning because ours is a revolution of mind and heart.

• It's ironic that those who till the soil, cultivate and harvest the fruits, vegetables, and other foods that fill your tables with abundance have nothing left for themselves.

• Because we have suffered, and we are not afraid to suffer in order to survive, we are ready to give up everything--even our lives--in the struggle for justice.

• Somewhere and somehow these people are never going to be the same. It's very important to us that people question; that they participate and that they are never afraid to have some principle and stand by that principle.

Never before had a farm workers' union been recognized (they are specifically excluded from the labor laws that regulate union recognition). Through the hard work of Cesar Chavez, Delores Huerta, and the rest of the United Farm Workers' union, they were able to gain recognition and negotiate contracts with management.

In his book Sal Si Puedes (Escape if you can), Peter Mathiessen writes that the true revolutionary is not the idealistic college student in the Che Geuvara t-shirt, but the person that brings about real change. That was Cesar Chavez.

iViva la Causa!
iViva la Huelga!

(Long live the Cause!)
(Long live the Strike!)

Reflecting.

I wanted to write something thoughtful and provoking but cannot seem to manipulate the words to say what I want them to say. For so long I have found comfort in the fact that no matter how far gone I may be, or how far behind I get...words will save me. I can usually count on them to convey my thoughts or ideas, and do it reasonably well.

I guess I've lost it. Times like this I fall back on an old stand-by...I will see what I can find.

Okay, I found something...When I was a kid, we lived next door to my grandparents so we always had extended family around. It was great, because I think we are closer to our cousins than a lot of people are. Anyway, we used to have such good times playing together around those houses. When my grandparents, and then my parents moved out of that neighborhood, I wrote this little thing about what our front yard was like.

It's not great, and I think the the tenses change on a whim, but here you go:

I can’t remember the last time the weather was this perfect. Too often the days are hot, sticky, and humid. Lately they have been too cold and rainy. But today, these days are rare and precious. The sun is bright and the clouds are stretched high. A breeze blows over your skin just enough to take the heat from the sunlight. Freshly cut grass fills every corner of my mind. In these moments, I am fourteen again, mowing the front yard. It never occurred to me, even now, that such a trivial and dreaded chore would come to symbolize simpler, happier times. How many times did I mow that lawn? A smile overcame my face, as I pictured how that lawn had been our football stadium, battlefield, driving range and ballpark.

 

It wasn’t exactly the Sandlot, but it served our purposes well. We never had bases or a pitchers’ mound. Each corner was a base, over the roof was a homerun, and anything that came off of the roof was still in play. Ghost runners were allowed, encouraged and necessary. Official score was kept democratically; disputes were discussed until an agreement was negotiated. However, never in the history of Martinez Field was a complete game ever recorded. Official baseballs were outlawed by the “commissioners” so tennis balls, racquetballs, and, of course, Super Pinkies were the balls of choice. Usually about the third inning, Aaron would get a hold of a pitch down and away and send it over Grandma’s house; none of which, to my knowledge, ever landed. Aaron’s a lefty so he’s tough to pitch to. The thing was if he just pulled it, it would go over the fence and into Grandma’s front yard, still a homerun but we could keep playing. Martinez Field was designed for a left-handed hitter. The house was like the Green Monster, but the right field wall was a four foot chain link fence about 30 feet at the foul line.

 

It was when football season came around that Martinez Field really made a name for itself. Shortly after the first Tech football game of the season each sidewalk segment would mark ten yard lines. The fence and trees became a goal post and without realizing it we had our own football/baseball arena. More often than not it was Aaron vs. me and Orlie. I’ll never forget the game that Mon decided to play. Aaron brings Mon in as a receiver and defensive line person (?). Orlie and I figure we’ve got it wrapped up. We were younger, faster and neither one of us was a girl. Late in the fourth quarter (too dark to play) Orlie and I are winning but they need a touchdown to win. Mon wasn’t exactly Jerry Rice, she hadn’t caught a long pass all day. Aaron usually had to kick it out on a bootleg or a short pass in the flats. Long story short Aaron drops back to pass, I rush the quarterback thinking I’ll take him down in the backfield, Orlie hightails it into the end zone to cover Mon, and somehow she manages to throw her arms out and pull it in for the touchdown. Game over. I’ve replayed that play a thousand times in my head and every time she misses that pass. Years later the NFL would allow coaches to challenge, had we had that available I think we would have discovered what every one of us secretly knows: she was out of bounds.

Summer Job

Well, I finished the phone interview a little while ago, and I think it went really well. She said that she has not confirmed or completed all of the sites, so she does not know how many site coordinators she will need, so she couldn't really hire me right away. The exciting and kind of stressful part of all of this, is that I would be gone more than 10 weeks this summer. If I am not mistaken the Union Summer program starts June 8, and I would need to be in Chicago a couple of days before that for the Site Coordinator training. I would more than likely participate in both "waves," because they have two five week classes of interns, and I would probably do both, returning to Dallas on or about August 17. Michigan State has their New Student Orientation on August 22. Which would give me less than a week to move there. A little intimidating, but very exciting.

My plan is to be completely ready to move by the time I would go Chicago in early June. So everything I own, save my clothes that I am taking on this internship, would be packed, boxed or otherwise crammed into the storage facility. So for all practical purposes, I would be moved out of my brother and sister-in-law's place by late May, early June. So when I get back in August, I would simply have to pick up a Uhaul, load it up, do some laundry, and drive to Michigan. Of course, somewhere in all of this I would have to say goodbye to everyone I know in Dallas...

So I am really looking forward to getting hired on with Union Summer because

• It's a great job, and a great opportunity
• I could be assigned anywhere in the country
• I should be making pretty good money
• I would be doing something that I WANT to do, helping people make their lives better

Then I get to come home, and start a whole new life almost...

Talk to you soon, gotta go study for a test that I have at 7:00....wish me luck.

About school...

I cannot wait to graduate, go to my summer job (hopefully. I have a phone interview tomorrow), and go to law school.

Saturday night, I was working, and a guest came in wearing a Michigan State jacket. Liz took his order and went to the back to get it started. I had a minute with him, so I told him, "I was actually just accepted to Michigan State's law school last week."
And don't get me wrong, I have had some interesting reactions to this statement, since it happened, but this guy was so excited for me. He immediately stuck his hand out and said, "Congratulations!" I shook his hand and we talked for atleast 20 minutes about the school, Michigan, East Lansing, and how much I will enjoy it there. He gave me some great advice, that, sadly, probably wouldn't have occurred to me. He said to not buy any cold weather clothing here or on my way or anything. He said to wait until I got settled in, then go to Goodwill. He said they have great stuff, and it will be cheap. It seems so simple and almost funny now, but its brilliance is its simplicity, I believe. He told me that the most beautiful place that I will ever visit is at the top of the lower half of Michigan and encouraged me to visit. He was almost giddy as he was talking about how much I was going to love it up there.

He said he would come back in to the resaurant to check on me, and make sure I was still going, and would try and think of more and tell me the next time he came in. I mean, I was excited before he came in, but now, I cannot wait to get there. I cannot wait to  live  in a state that is utterly unknown to me. I cannot wait to be surrounded by people that I don't know, and have to start from scratch. It's weird I know, and I realize that there will be homesickness and loneliness, but funnily enough, I am almost welcoming them. They almost seem like the cost of doing business, just something to deal with in return for everything else.

He was truly one of the nicest people I've met in a while, and he made my night. Even now I can't help but smile about how excited he was for me...and he doesn't even know me.

Well, after the way the night has gone, I doubt I will be sleeping much tonight, so I will probably be back sooner rather than later...

 

Regression

Ninety-nine times out of a hundred things go really well.

Then when you least expect it, regardless of where you are and what you may be doing you are blindsided by the wrong memory at the wrong moment...

Two people are sitting at a restaurant, talking and each having a bottle of the same beer. Conversation, witty banter back and forth... then out of no where, she reads the label on the beer, turns to him and with a smile says, "I know why you drink this now." No explanation, no discussion. They grin at each other because they immediately both know what she is talking about, and an unasked question has been answered and further stands to cement the growing bond. Conversation continues...

10 seconds tops.

Would you erase someone from your memory if you could? I mean obviously you have to give up the good and the bad memories... but are the good memories worth it if they make you unhappy? What's the point of reflecting on a time and a place that feels so far away? It is naive to believe that there will not be times similar to those times, but right now, it seems as though no one will ever KNOW, without asking, without even thinking twice about  it, why I drink the beer that I do. Right now, it feels like those times when we talked for hours without a pause, completely comfortable are too far gone, and completely unattainable with anyone else. So would it be appropriate to erase that memory, so that there is no basis for comparison? Is that a legitmate reason? I mean its a moot point given that memory erasure doesn't exist, but an interesting question, nonetheless.

I watched GardentState this weekend, and it was incredible. I am in awe of Zach Braff. It would be one thing if he had just starred in it, or if he had just starred in it and written it...but no. This kid starred, wrote and directed that movie. I guess the moral of the story is, that GardenState knocked me on my ass, in the sense that this is what life is about. This uncertainty. This discomfort. This pain, for lack of a better word. I guess when we we are comfortable we get complacent. And that compaceny leads to lethargy. And that, that seems to be surviving, and I don't want to just survive anymore.

It's got to be more than that.

But

I want to get past all of this. I mean when is this supposed to get better? Am I being impatient? How long does it need to take? Everything was going so well, and this isn't a MAJOR setback or anything, but at this point, any setback isn't good.

_________________________________________________________________________
Note: After re-reading this, I realized that I may have failed to express what I wanted to express in this post. I guess I wanted to say that never before have I gotten along so well with someone that s/he could figure me out without having to ask, and right now, it feels like that may never happen again. It took more than 25 years the first time, right?

Anyway, I also wanted to say that I wouldn't want to trade the good times for the bad. Like I wouldn't give up the good times simply because I am overcome with these great memories that make me sad. And that's where the hard part comes in...because the question isn't would you erase your memories, but are you willing to do it again? Are you (or me) willing to risk all of this bullshit with someone else in the future, simply because you hope the good will outweigh the bad?

Thats a little closer to where I wanted to go the first time, and don't think I made it clear.

-J

Trying to get some word out

74% of all Texans indicate that they, a family member and/or a friend or coworker have experienced some form of domestic violence (physical, sexual or verbal) in their lifetime.

Break the Silence. Make the Call.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1.800.799.7233
TTY 1.800.787.3224

A quick comment survey:

If you happen to read this could you please post a comment that describes me in one word? If you don't know me, scroll through some of the posts and leave a one word comment that comes to mind. One word, good or bad. I understand if you don't want to or whatever, but thanks either way.

Catching up...

Well it is official, I have been accepted to law school. I can't seem to grasp the gravity of the situation. On one hand I am relieved to know that I got an acceptance letter. Yay me. But immediately following comes the nagging thoughts of self doubt. How will I pay for it? How will I pay for the move? What if its too hard? And then I start trying to tamp down those anxieties with thoughts of self-assurance...I wouldn't have gotten in if anyone thought I couldn't do it, or I felt the same way when I first started back to school...But the self-doubt is bigger, and eats better...so he usually wins...Regardless, I am excited and looking forward to figuring out if and how all of this is going to happen. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that at this point only acceptances from Illinois, and Tulane would supercede MSU.

Okay so last night we went to see the midnight movie at the Inwood...Donnie Darko. I had never seen this movie and was a little scared given the kind of teaser I had gotten from people. I remember vague references to time travel and a six-foot bunny rabbit that's imaginary...ok see, so far it sounds like Back to the Future meets Harvey....WTF! But surprisingly enough it was really good. It was the Director's Cut, which makes me think, dude, what could they have cut out? The story was really impressive. I was suprised by how confusing it was, but without being...messy. Like there were lots of things that didn't make sense at first and you kinda have to take with you and carry around with you for a while...which, now that I think about it, I wish Aaron could've gone cause he's really good with movies that make you think.

Which I also saw the Ring 2 this weekend...that is scary. And I am not too proud to admit that I was ready to go about 5 minutes in to that stupid movie. It was good, and I don't wanna ruin it for anyone so I won't get into it, but suffice  it to say....it was scary. And why is that kid so CREEPY?!?!

Oh and I know that I keep doing this, but I got to spend some time with an old friend on friday...I mean she's not old, and we aren't really OLD friends, but we had some great times a while back and we kind of lost touch and now we are talking again. She is in school and works a lot too, so hopefully we will get to hang out a little. But we got to hang out and she always makes me laugh and we have a good time.

Now I also know that I have said this before and it may be like the boy calling wolf, but: Being a good student starts tomorrow.

Actually its about to start as I have some papers due tomorrow that NEED to be written and a couple of tests coming up very soon. I have spent WAY too much time giving a half-assed attempt this semester. There are no more excuses and I refuse to accept that "it's just been a rough semester." There is a list of things to do, and I am going to do them. I am going to try and work more at the restaurant in order to save some money, and I am going to get in touch with the people from Union Summer about a job. Financial Aid and Scholarship stuff will be filled out....I am hereby, publicly turning over a new leaf. Grounded in reality (almost) and with the goal of being in East Lansing, Michigan (or Urbana-Champain, Illinois) in August. And if anyone reading this catches me slacking....please kick my ass.

Oh and thanks for the comments and congratulations about MSU.

Good news.

Mr. Martinez:

I am pleased to inform you that you have been selected for admission to the Full Time Division of the Fall 2005 entering class at Michigan State University College of Law.  This offer of admission is conditioned upon receipt of an official transcript evidencing award of your Bachelor's Degree. This transcript must be mailed from your undergraduate institution to the MSU College of Law admissions office.

A non-refundable confirmation deposit of $200 is required to reserve your place in the class. Please arrange for you deposit to reach us by April 1, 2005. Registration and orientation materials will be mailed to you in early July, please call or write the Admissions Office if you have a change of address. Also, our accepted student open house is scheduled for Saturday, March 19, 2005. New student orientation begins August 22, 2005.

Access to your student information through the Michigan State University College of Law's database called the Student Information System (SIS) requires a Person Identification Number (PID). Additionally, this number when used with your "PAN" ID, which will be mailed to you under a separate cover in the next month, will allow activation of your electronic mail. Your PID number is A-------.

On behalf of the Dean and the Faculty of Michigan State University College of Law, I extend heartfelt congratulations on your offer of admission and look forward to having  you as a member of our student body.

Sincerely,

Andrea K. Heatley
Assisstant Dean of Admissions & Financial Aid

I know, I know...but I can't help it.

1. What time did you get up this morning?

9:15a

2.  Diamonds or pearls?

uh...neither

3. What was the  last film you saw at the cinema?

The Shining...creepy!

4. What is your favorite TV show?

Probably West Wing, me and Ang got to watch an episode last night...SO good!

5. What did you have for breakfast?

Coffee

6. What  is your middle name?

Isaac ( From the Hebrew name Yitschaq which meant "he laughs". Isaac in the Old Testament was the son of Abraham and the father of Esau and Jacob. Famous bearers of this name include the physicist and mathematician Sir Isaac Newton and the science-fiction writer Isaac Asimov. )

7.  What is your Favorite cuisine?

This is a hard one...my brother put Pizza...dude does that even count as a cuisine (loser!)...I am going to say Italian.

8. What foods do you dislike?

Tomatoes, Peas (good call Ang.), tuna (just the smell...ugh!)

9. What is your favorite chip flavor?

 

Potato (preferable ridged or wavy, but i will take a smooth), and of course the single greatest snack food invention of my lifetime: the Baked Nacho Cheese Dorito

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?

A Jason Mraz bootleg recorded January '03 at a place called Schuba's in Chicago

11. What kind of car do you drive?

I don't.

12. Favorite sandwich?

A Quizono's Regular Veggie (minus Tomatoes, black olives, guacamole, add pickles, jalapenos, extra mushrooms, lettuce)

13. What characteristic do you despise?

Ignorance

14. Favorite item of clothing?

My grey sweater pullover hoodie...see thats the brilliance...its a hoodie, but its not a sweatshirt...its a sweater...genius

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?

Europe.

16. What color is your bathroom?

I don't really have a bathroom....really, i mean i kinda just borrow one...and its multi-colored

17. Favorite brand of clothing?

No Sweat Apparel

18. Where would you retire to?

Not sure yet, I haven't seen enough of the world to make this decision...

19. Favorite time of the day?

Anytime i can take a nap...but usually when i get home...walkin in the door, and feeling like the day is for the most part, literally and figuratively, behind me.

20. What was  your most memorable birthday?

Honestly there isn't one in particular that sticks out in my mind right now...weird.

21. Where were you born?

L-town USA (Lubbock, TX)

22. Favorite sport to watch?

Baseball, Soccer

23. Who do you least expect to get this back from?

Not really that kind of format...

24. Person you expect to send it back first?

Not really that kind of format...though a few people have been known to lift these from my blog...and i say lift away my friends, lift away!

25. What detergent do you use?

Some stuff that Kathryn has, SO good.

26. How many loads of laundry do you do a  week?

usually about 3...a dark, a white, and a light

27. Are you a morning person or a night  person?

Night...Just like Lionel says...All night long...

28. What is your shoe size?

13

29. Favorite color?

 

red

30. Do you have any pets?

I had a cat, named Stanley...I live with Marty and Lucy

31. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with friends and family?

 

nothing that I can think of...

32. What did you want to be when you were little?

The funny thing is there are only two things that I actually remember wanting to grow up to be when I was in elementary school, I  lost these along the way, and now am close to returning to them....A lawyer, and I wanted to join the Peace Corps

 

33.  What is your favorite quote?

 

I know that in the past every great political and social change, necessitated violence....Yet it is one thing to employ violence in combat as a means of defense. It is quite another thing to make a principle of terrorism, to institutionalize it to assign it the most vital place in the social struggle. Such terrorism begets counter-revolution and in turn itself becomes counter-revolutionary.

Emma Goldman