Last night someone asked me when I became a feminist? (I am paraphrasing, I hope you don't mind.)
Interesting question, and I think that my answer may have been lacking...So I am going to try and answer in a way that makes more sense and is closer to complete. When I look at the course of my life, I am fascinated by the things that I feel to be true that were not directly taught to me. The closest analogy I could use, and I have used this before, and I did again last night, is that there are things that I feel that I know, like I know my own name. Some things so inherently right, and true that I cannot imagine things being any other way. I wish that I could say that I always knew that there were imbalances of power in our society, but that just isn't true.
I remember that I was very young because it was one summer that I was in elementary school. My parents had sent me to church camp for a week with the First Baptist Church youth/children's group. It was probably one of my first experiences being away from my parents for any extended period of time and was pretty unsettling. I did not normally attend First Baptist Church and therefore, did not know anyone. Everyone did a very good job at making me feel welcome and trying to include me in activities and conversations. It was only a week, and each cabin was supposed perform some sort of skit each night. Anyway in preparation for our skit one of the other guys from our cabin came into our room. The room was lined on either side with bunk beds and I was looking under the bed for something so I guess (hope?) he didn't see me as he entered and said, "Hey where's that Mexican kid?"
It took me a second to realize that he was talking about me and I sheepishly answered, "uh, I'm right here."
And that was it. That was the moment that I realized that I was different, and that difference was going to be what people used to define me. Regardless of anything I could achieve, it ultimately would be modified by my ethnicity. I would have to be twice as good just to be considered on par. I would have to dress twice as nice to not be thought of as sloppy. Don't believe me? In 1989, Doug Williams led the Washington Redskins to a Super Bowl Championship over the Denver Broncos . He completed 18 of 29 passes for a total of 340 yards and four touchdowns. What's the one thing people remember about Doug Williams? The fact that he was the first Black quarterback to play in a Super Bowl. He was not defined as a quarterback, but a Black quarterback. That modifier does not need to be there. It does not in any way, help someone gain a better understanding of Doug Williams, it simply is our way of qualifying Doug Williams' status as a quarterback. When Doug Williams is a Black quarterback, instead of a quarterback, we say, "He's not a real quarterback, he is a Black quarterback."
When I am just some "Mexican" kid, it erases my humanity, and replaces it with some stereotypical idea of who and where I am supposed to be. I wasn't a kid. I was a Mexican kid. Don't get me wrong, I am
proud of my heritage, and my family, but I have a problem with someone
else defining who I am, and it somehow qualifying or erasing my humanity.
All of that said, that moment became my root. Essentially I used that moment to alter my perception of the world. I believe that I may have known that there were things in this world that were not quite right. But I could never place them or address them, these inequalities as I later knew them to be called, were my "problem that had no name." I noticed that there were differences between how I was treated in the world and how my (white) friends were treated. These were also differences in how my mom and my dad were treated, based solely on their gender. (My mom would never recognize her oppression, and that saddens me to no end.)
I don't remember the moment that I realized that women do not have the same access to the world that men do. I don't remember the first time that I heard someone say women shouldn't do this or don't need to be doing that....But I knew that that exclusion was wrong. I remember in November of 1984, when Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro were defeated in the campaign for president, that I was watching history in the making. I was 7 years old and I remember being so disappointed, maybe my mom's disappointment fueled mine, because there is on way that I could have known the implications of it all, but I knew that it was important, and it was monumental. (I don't remember a lot about those years, but I remember watching the Democratic National Convention and the election returns that year.)
I don't remember ever thinking that there was something I could do, that a woman couldn't or shouldn't do. I may not have always known, but I know now, I know like I know my name, that ending gender based discrimination is right. To me feminism, which I define as merely the belief in social, political and economic equality of all people (regardless of gender) is simply "the way".
(Which, if there is a problem with feminism, it is its perception. I believe that if you asked a lot of people if they were feminists, they would say no. But if you asked them if they were in favor of the social, political and economic equality of all people, they would say yes. Conservatives, the media, and society as a whole have done such an impressive job of marring feminism that it has seeped into popular culture to such a degree that feminists, themselves have little to no credibility. They, sadly, have become a punchline, and are reduced to one degrading and all-encompassing term: Femi-nazis. )
Okay, well Katie, I realize that that's probably not what you were expecting, but if you read it, that's when, why and how I guess...