We Ride Bikes

Thinking.

If anyone has read through my archives you will see that one of my favorite books for 2004 was My Life by Bill Clinton. It's not great literature, but it's a good story with nice anecdotes, and interesting lessons, especially for those interested in politics. One of those lessons being, as simple as it sounds, that you cannot let anyone else define you. When you give others, most importantly your opponent, the opportunity to define you, rather than doing it yourself, you end up playing defense and trying to make up for that lost ground.

So taking that to heart, and learning a lesson from this past election cycle, let me just say this...I am a flip-flopper.

In the past week, I have decided, "firmly" that I am going to Michigan State, Northern Illinois, Texas Tech and finally (I hope), Lewis and Clark.

Maybe there is something to be said for being Gemini and constantly having these arguments with myself, seeing both sides of the issues. I literally have changed my mind several times, even in the past day or two.

So if I haven't already lost you to the "Want to waste some time?" links - My Top Ten Reasons for Choosing Lewis and Clark:

1. The Environmental Law program. They have a huge E-law faculty, most of whom seem to be committed to protecting and preserving the environment, or at least balancing the interests of the public, the environment and business. According to U.S. News and World Reports, Lewis and Clark has the best Environmental Law program in the country.
2. It is the "best" law school to which I have been accepted. A while back I searched the U.S. News and World Reports rankings of law schools for the coming year, and of my 8, Lewis and Clark is the best school that has accepted me. I was originally wait-listed, there but...
3. a couple of weeks ago, THEY CALLED to tell me I got in and to congratulate me (which I thought was very cool). They seem to be interested in insuring that I attend. I am constantly getting information about everything from a 1L (first-year law student) picnic to finding housing in Portland. Which speaking of...
4. Portland, Oregon. I have always heard wonderful things about the Northwest, but have never been. From one of my potential roommates: "No one is ever sorry they came to Portland." Bringing me to...
5. I have already exchanged email with several people who want to talk about my living with them, as they have a room to rent, or simply need a roommate or whatever the situation is.
6. They have already sent my financial aid award letter. They have offered me enough money to cover tuition and fees, books and supplies, living expenses (rent, food, transportation and "personal").
7. In addition to the Environmental and Natural Resources program that I mentioned above, they also have other areas, including Public Interest Law and Crime Victim Advocacy, and their Law Reviews include a general L&C Law Review, and an Environemental Law Review, and an Animal Law Review.
8. They had a 71% Bar passage rate for 2004.
9. Also for 2004, about 98% of their graduates were employed immediately upon graduating, breaking down to:

   46% Private Practice
   17% Government
   14% Judicial Clerkships
   11% Business
   11% Public Interest
   1% Academia

10. Mass transit in Portland is impressive and affordable. Oh, and the school subsidizes transit passes, so they are cosiderably cheaper.
11. (Bonus) And because I really want to go. From what I can gather, the law school, its faculty, and its students are reasonably easy going, the motto seems to be "Work hard, play hard." There seems to be an overall idea to enjoy Portland, as much as you work hard. Plus I think I am more likely to stay focused in a city that I have never been to, don't know a soul, and doesn't have a baseball team, let alone 2.

I am truly so excited that I can't sit still. I will send in my deposit to hold my seat, and will make arrangements to live there, and determine the cost to move and otherwise get there.

And the part that sucks is, no matter how excited I get, I am constantly reminded of what I am leaving. The past few months have seen some wonderful things, in that, I have met some wonderful people.

It's hard to think about that though...I don't believe in "meant to be" or "not meant to be," and so when I think about what could be, the burden to act ultimately falls on me. And maybe I've gone too far. But in the end the only person I have to answer to is myself.

I just wish things were different.

" Staring in her face, I see a past that still haunts me
The road where we split up is paved with the things I didn't say
We had wonderful times, but terrible timing
Now just leave her alone, I'll just be in the way"
-Edwin McCain - Sorry to a Friend

Well, we knew it was coming...

Dear Jacob:

Thank you for applying to the University of Illinois College of Law. We have completed our review of your application and I regret to inform you  that we will be unable to offer you a place in our Fall 2005 entering class.

This year, we will receive approximately 3000 applications for the 180 seats in our first-year class. The vast majority of these applications are from individuals who have the potential to become outstanding law students and attorneys. However, with over 16 applicants for each seat, it is inevitable that a number of well-qualified candidates will not be offered admission.

Nevertheless, the Admissions Committee whould encourage you to apply for admission as a transfer student if you find yourself achieving success at an approved law school. If admitted, we will be delighted to award you a $500 book certificate for use at the College's bookstore upon your enrollment as a second-year transfer student.

I sincerely appreciate your interest in Illinois and understand your disappointment (do you? do you really?). I wish you every success in your future endeavors.

Sincerely yours,

Paul D. Pless
Assistant Dean for Admissions and Financial Aid

Monday Morning

A while back Kenneth posted a blog on hispace called  Graduation Day. It is a touching and poignant look at the day he accepted his degree. And while I understand more now then ever, some of the things he was talking about, I do not have that sense of finality.

Maybe it is because I will not walk this weekend, and so this semester will end tonight following my exam, without fanfare and without the blaze of glory that graduation is supposed to be.

I've tried a couple of times to write this post, to try and capture the sense of relief and nostalgia. Ellie described this situation as an ending of maybe not my role as a student, but as a student here, where things were reasonably comfortable and safe.

Regardless, tonight, it's done. I created my own path to this point, and would do most of it again  if offered the chance. There are so many people that helped along the way, so many people that I wish I could thank. It's been a long way, and I've learned a lot, though most of it was not in the classroom, nor was it about political science.

And yet, it isn't finished.

I need to decide where I will be in August. Will I be practical and choose to live life safely by staying in Texas? Or will I risk everything in spite of the unknown?

On one hand, there is logical sense to staying here, and still a slim chance of an opportunity to leave following my first-year. On the other, don't I have an obligation to attend the best school that offers me admission, or atleast the one that brings me closer to my goal?  Tomorrow is my deadline: stay in Texas, and play it smart. Or risk it all and go away. Lewis & Clark is the best law school that has accepted me; they have one of the programs that I was looking for, and I could practice a kind of law that is in line with my principles. Northern Illinois is an inexpensive school that puts me in Illinois where I could work with the labor movement. Michigan State, also puts me in a position to work as an attorney with the labor movement, but neither NIU, or MSU offers the labor law program that would enable me to concentrate my studies there. Texas Tech is a good school, several good programs, near my family, and reasonably cheaper (I will be in-state, and possibly living at home).

I know that it's not the most interesting of topics, but this is how I think through this stuff, by getting it out, and putting it in perspective. If I can look at it in black and white, it seems less daunting, and it forces me to come up with legitimate reasons for everything.

Okay, going to study for this final.

 

is it 9:54 or 8:54?

It's Sunday morning, and I am soaking up this time. Rarely do I get up early enough to enjoy the day before it really starts. Today, I am. The past couple of days have been good in more than one way. First of all, Friday started the weekend off well, because I made pretty good money that night. Then I went and played pool with "Chloe" her roommate Brooke, Scott, Brian, and Josh showed up long enough for me to kick his ass once (at pool). We went back to their apartment, drank some, and talked until we fell asleep watching Garden State. I had a really good time. Brooke is my new favorite person, and I am going to try and hang out w/ her more often.

Last night was Jaga's birthday party. We missed dinner, but met her, Rhonda and Chris Ryan at some bar on Live Oak and Skillman called Cosmos(?). It was a good time, cool place, and I love Jaga. She's great. I've known her for more than half of my life and we always have a good time.

I am off to work and will not get to post before this afternoon, so please think happy thoughts for me tomorrow morning...I am interviewing with the Texas Tech Law school and am not really nervous, but this interview is unlike any that I have ever done. I have no idea how to prepare for an interview like this and don't really know what to expect. I know that there may be a writing sample involved, and the person performing the interview is a law professor, but outside of that, I got nothing. I am a little concerned with the, well, you know, the thing.....I, like Lloyd Dobler, have a nervous talking thing...when I get a little nervous I tend to try to fill the empty silences with meaningless and inane conversation usually amounting to stupid babbling. On more than one occasion I have simply said things that as they came out, I realize that they are stupid, but for one reason or another cannot seem to stop them from coming...Anyway, Ang and I driving to Lubbock today so ROAD TRIP!

Talk to you soon

About school...

I cannot wait to graduate, go to my summer job (hopefully. I have a phone interview tomorrow), and go to law school.

Saturday night, I was working, and a guest came in wearing a Michigan State jacket. Liz took his order and went to the back to get it started. I had a minute with him, so I told him, "I was actually just accepted to Michigan State's law school last week."
And don't get me wrong, I have had some interesting reactions to this statement, since it happened, but this guy was so excited for me. He immediately stuck his hand out and said, "Congratulations!" I shook his hand and we talked for atleast 20 minutes about the school, Michigan, East Lansing, and how much I will enjoy it there. He gave me some great advice, that, sadly, probably wouldn't have occurred to me. He said to not buy any cold weather clothing here or on my way or anything. He said to wait until I got settled in, then go to Goodwill. He said they have great stuff, and it will be cheap. It seems so simple and almost funny now, but its brilliance is its simplicity, I believe. He told me that the most beautiful place that I will ever visit is at the top of the lower half of Michigan and encouraged me to visit. He was almost giddy as he was talking about how much I was going to love it up there.

He said he would come back in to the resaurant to check on me, and make sure I was still going, and would try and think of more and tell me the next time he came in. I mean, I was excited before he came in, but now, I cannot wait to get there. I cannot wait to  live  in a state that is utterly unknown to me. I cannot wait to be surrounded by people that I don't know, and have to start from scratch. It's weird I know, and I realize that there will be homesickness and loneliness, but funnily enough, I am almost welcoming them. They almost seem like the cost of doing business, just something to deal with in return for everything else.

He was truly one of the nicest people I've met in a while, and he made my night. Even now I can't help but smile about how excited he was for me...and he doesn't even know me.

Well, after the way the night has gone, I doubt I will be sleeping much tonight, so I will probably be back sooner rather than later...

 

An early Christmas present

Immediately before heading to work today I checked my email and I got my LSAT score. It's certainly not as high as I had hoped but about where I thought I might end up. It's not good enough to get in to a top tier law school (we knew we wouldn't get in to those anyway), and it's not good enough for the second tier law school either(we were kind of hoping we might be able to get into one of those)....so we are going to shoot for that third tier and maybe just a touch higher. Affirmative action is our friend and we are going to attempt to exploit it to our advantage, though I would hate to take away some spot of some "more" deserving "white" person....btw, kenneth I am glad you decided to go to graduate school, that is just one less person I have to compete with. I have started looking at schools that seem to have my LSAT score and GPA in their incoming student profile...I am still looking for a labor/industrial relations program or concentration...its not looking good, I think with the declining union membership across the country law schools are foregoing that part of the legal education for intellectual property those have now become a dime a dozen, which, sadly, does not interest me in the slightest.

Anyway, we had our roommate/Aaron and Kathryn gift exchange last night. Good times as always. I received some handerkerchiefs, a logic puzzle book specifically designed for the "office", and a kick ass Texas Rangers logo Zippo lighter, how cool is that my friends?....Thanks again Aaron.

I think that may be it for now. I will now go back to deciding where I would like to go to law school. Seattle? Chicago? Baltimore? Boston? Houston? Lubbock? These, my friends, are questions that will need to be answered.

December 22, 1919
Amid a strike for union recognition by 395,000 steelworkers, approximately 250 “anarchists,” “communists,” and “labor agitators” were deported to Russia, marking the beginning of the so-called “Red Scare.”

December 23, 1908
AFL officers found in contempt of court for urging a labor boycott.

Okay, on that note, if I don't update before then, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy (and safe) New Year!

How good is James Taylor? I know, I know, but this album is so good. You know, I've never been, but in my mind, I am going to Carolina with him....it just kills me...

It's Wednesday, and we missed West Wing

Okay I remebered a few more books to add to my Top 10 books of 2004...

My Life by Bill Clinton: I know some people didn't like it...I enjoyed it and appreciated it. He gave me enough numbers and politics to satisfy the policy wonk in me, and did not give me the salacious details that I never wanted to know in the first place as quite frankly they are none of my business. It was a long but good read.

The Natural: The Misunderstood Presidency of Bill Clinton by Joe Klein: what can I say I went through a whole Clinton thing, this one was good, but not as good as My Life. He explains without apologizing or excusing him. Both of them together helped me have a greater understanding of his presidency and understanding the New Democrats, granted the Clintonian Democrats are still a little too conservative for my tastes (free trade, pro-capital punishment et al.) these books cleared up a lot for me.

Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenriech: I wanted to read this for a long time and finally read it this year. It was not quite as good as I had hoped it would be, but she brings to light a lot of things that should be talked about more often and with more passion.

Again, I will update more as I remember them.

Today Girlfriend (Meredith) was offered a position as the Volunteer Coordinator with the Rape Crisis Center of Collin County. We are very proud of and excited for her. It is a great job for her. I am happy to see her doing what she wants to be doing, advocating for those who cannot necessarily do it for themselves. As a volunteer coordinator she will train and schedule the volunteers that work for the center helping survivors in the short and/or long term aftermath of a sexual assault. My dad always told me "if you arent part of the solution, then you are part of the problem", though sometimes it was "if you're not angry, then you arent paying attention." The moral of the story is, as much as she has been doing for the movement she will now be doing more. I'm so proud of her.

When I see other people doing so well it makes me wonder where I am supposed to be going.

(Quick sidebar: I don't believe in destiny/fate because I believe that it removes free will from the equation. But when I think about the idea of knowing something, and knowing something so deeply like you know your own name it is the overwhelming feeling that the way things are, have some sort of...I don't want to say plan....and I have never FELT the presence of a higher being, but I FEEL, like I HEAR my name, even when someone isn't talking TO me, I FEEL that there is some THING that I am SUPPOSED to be doing, like I have a destiny....don't get me wrong, I don't have delusions of grandeur, I don't expect that I am destined for greatness. In fact, I barely have delusions of adequacy, I have simply always felt that there is something, some job, some task that I am destined to accomplish....maybe I'm wrong, maybe I've already done it, maybe it's not even out there....but how do you explain feelings that you feel when you feel them....)

So when I see Meredith getting the job she wants so badly that she can taste it and she uses sheer will power to get, like Aaron can draw the card he needs at the right time...and I see Kenneth deciding what he wants to study and knowing at the end of the line he will be doing what he wants to be doing, and Emilie defending her masters thesis and saying I've decided to go to school to do this....I think....I have never had a single goal that I sought to achieve. Even now 10 credit hours from graduating college...when i started school, the second time, the graduation seemed so remote a possibility that I never thought about how it would end, I just...started. I had every intention of going to law school with no real idea of what it would take or how i to go about getting in or anything....granted that changed several times and now, of course, I am planning on going to law school.

But to do what? to go where?

These of course are not questions that MUST be answered, but are simply out there.

Oh and a quick shout out to my main man Kenneth who is taking the GRE tomorrow...If you believe in a god or a goddess or God, or Allah or Yahweh or your elders, or those that have come before us, or as he likes to say your uncle in the sky, please put in a good word for him, or otherwise think good thoughts for him.

Mock LSAT or LSAT Mockery

Its been a while I realize...but it has been an eventful week. Last week I took a practice LSAT. For those not in the know it is the law school admission test. I actually did rather well. So I am about 99% sure that with any luck I will be attending law school come fall of 2005. I have spent the past week looking at schools online and determining what kind of law I would like to practice, if at all? and which schools offer programs that will enable me to learn the kinds of things about the law that I would like to learn? The really interesting things like constituional law, labor law, and civil liberty law etc etc etc. are out there but I may have to settle on personal injury....so I am looking for a new nickname...there's JIM ADLER THE TEXAS HAMMER, and LONGCAR THE STRONGARM....surely there's something out there for me...

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well, I am going to try and get Meredith out to the store tonight...we have been out of groceries for weeks, I could go by myself, but there wouldnt be anyone to keep me in check, so I would end up playing with all the toys and completely for get why I am there. I have to go back to my stupid job now....Spaghetti warehouse is awful. The food is bland, the service is terrible, the atmosphere is non-existent, and lately the only saving grace has been the John Mayer song on our tape, and the fact that I can occasionally get paid to read for school. But at the rate I am being paid, I am not sure who is screwing whom...

Oh but I did get a Jesus tract from one of my tables, and you know what?....Jesus loves me. So I got that going for me, which is nice...

TV and the beginning

Ok first of all the past year notwithstanding....I have watched a lot of television in my lifetime and let me just say that The West Wing is probably the best television show to ever air. The acting, character dynamics, the plot, script, direction, premise etc. etc. etc. It's just an all around brilliant show. Ang and I have been getting a head start on the West Wing marathon at the Real World house. Great stuff.

Secondly, I am taking a mock LSAT tomorrow at like 9 am. I have never seen an LSAT nor do I really want to. But I think if I walk in there and take it cold I will have a good measure for how far I need to go and how far I think I may be able to come. So here's hoping....