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news - well old news

Just checked grades - it's official, I really am a college graduate.

My degree was awarded May 7, 2005.

Okay, going to work.

Things Fall Apart

11:00 a.m.

I am sitting in a classroom, forcing my eyes open, dreading the next 90 minutes of what promises to be an absolute beating of an exam. I have been reading, breathing, and discussing judicial decision-making and implementation (just sounds boring, yeah?) since about 10 p.m. last night, with about a 3 hour nap somewhere in there.

And now I realize more so than before, that I am two exams from graduating. And this sensation of nostalgia and relief begins to sweep over me. And yet, I don't have time for it. I put it out of my mind in order to focus on the task at hand: an exam over 4 weeks worth of material (of which I have about one weeks worth of notes), and 9 chapters of text (of which I have read maybe 3). Right now, I can only concentrate on what the exam questions could be.

The exam begins and I know the first of the three sections without problem. I am beginning to think that this maybe one of my favorite instances where all procrastination and laziness are unfortunately validated by my ability to cram the night before. And so far so good, its working. I am writing a mile a minute and am feeling pretty good. I seem to be finding the words, and surprising myself with correct definitions and terms. My stride kicks in and I hit the second section, the first essay question, with full force. I may have lost my way once or twice, but overall managed to bring it back. There was a lot of information to get in, so I may have condensed it well enough to have covered my ass.

Then comes the dreaded third question. Directly over 2 chapters that I barely touched on, and never heard a lecture over. The momentum from the first two sections put me in a position where I felt like I was answering it appropriately and accurately. I get more than halfway through and start to reread what I have written, and I can barely make heads or tails of it. It just sounded like I hadn't read the book, and was trying to b.s. my way through.

So now with less than half an hour left, the critical decision: toss it out and start over or try and salvage it?

Well, I opted for secret option C. Follow the first rule of holes: Stop digging.

So I stopped digging (read: writing). I looked at my answer, looked at the question, thought about the likelihood that I would fail the class...

And I tacked on two really lame sentences, and turned that crap in.

And I get to do it all again on Monday night, when my final final is.

Tally sheet

For those of you keeping score at home....though I cannot imagine you are...

I have been accepted at:
Lewis and Clark Law School in Portland, Oregon
Northern Illinois University College of Law in DeKalb, Illinois
Michigan State University College of Law in East Lansing, Michigan
Texas Tech University School of Law  in Lubbock, Texas

I have been wait-listed at:
DePaul University College of Law in Chicago, Illinois
Tulane Law School in New Orleans, Lousiana
Chicago-Kent College of Law in Chicago, Illinois

I have been rejected by:
University of Illinois College of Law at Urbana-Champaign, Illinois

I am assuming that the University of Illinois is still so overwhelmed with my wonderful personal statement that they cannot pull themselves away from it long enough to accept me. I am expecting a letter of acceptance offering me a complete scholarship, including residence and books etc, simply based on the fact that my personal statement was such an inspiring work of prose that they had no choice.

And as long as I am dreaming, I hope Nancy calls me about that summer job soon...

__________________________________________________________________________
Note: I received word from Tech today that I have been accepted, and have changed the tally sheet accordingly. (4/26/05)
I received word from UofI-UC today that I have not been accepted, and have changed the tally sheet accrordingly. (5/4/05)
I received word from Chicago Kent and Tulane that I have been wait-listed and have changed the tally sheet accordingly. (5/14/05)

My response to Judith re: Higher Education

How do you manage to do that? How do you manage to inspire thought and cultivate the desire to write? You have an amazing ability to make me want to write, and make it seem possible rather than plausible.

I did drop out of college for five years with the vague idea to finish, someday. When I was in high school, college was simply what you did, not necessarily what you wanted to do. I was lucky, in that I came from a low-income, minority household where an education was valued to some degree. Granted, my parents were not forcing us to excel or on our backs about filling out college applications and the like, but they did make it clear that college was where we were supposed to go. In high school and college I was not ambitious and had no idea of where I wanted to be nor did I have any tangible plan of where I wanted to go.

The five years out of school taught me so much. And while I value that time, and would recommend that everyone take some amount of time to re-evaluate, rather than stick blindly to one path, I do sometimes wish that I could make my 17 year old self understand that there are things that we want to do, and if we just try a little harder we can do them. I coasted through high school, never did homework, never studied, and managed to just get by. So it was not until I returned to school with renewed zeal, that I had to learn how to study, and be able to simply play by the rules.

This idea of playing by the rules is one of the major things that I think college teaches us. You need x amount of credits and are empowered, within reason, to acquire those credits as you see fit. You have y amount of time and z amount of work to get done, how do you go about accomplishing those tasks? A college education is important for so many reasons with regards to socialization, and time management and all of that, and I truly believe that there are things that I learned in college, and I enjoyed (am enjoying?) it. I do believe that college, like so many other things, is age appropriate. You must be ready for it; otherwise the freedom and the flexibility will be too great to overcome. I do not want to say that college is not for everyone; that sounds elitist. I believe that college should be available to anyone that wants to attend.

I also think you touched on something very important, that incidentally would be very difficult to convey to any audience, especially the one that you are addressing. Not necessarily education per se, but reaching one’s full potential is critical to nurturing self-esteem and self-confidence. Not only the knowledge, and hopefully some amount of wisdom, gained in a college environment, but also the confidence of something accomplished. It comes in bits and pieces, but it comes. For me, every exam and every paper became a little victory. Then each semester became a greater accomplishment. (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there is no better feeling in the world than having absolutely no understanding of the material a day or two before a test, then cramming and walking out of that test KNOWING that you did well. I love that.)  Even now, as I sit here on the verge of graduating, still barely able to completely fathom that everything I have worked for is almost over, I recognize that it is not one single achievement but a series of smaller achievements. And they help give me confidence to do more. (I mean, I am going to law school! That's still almost too much to swallow.)

So I don’t think that much of this is new to you, you’ve read over and over about my college and non-college experiences. And I am realizing now that I got a little wordy and may have gone overboard…

At any rate, I think the problem is that college places such a burden on the individual to want to be there that someone in your position must inspire that desire to be there. I can’t imagine that this will be a problem for you. You have a magnetic personality and a passion for education that is contagious. A while back you were so frustrated with Richland, putting together a powerpoint project, and I remember talking to you and in spite of being exhausted and drained from all of the bullshit associated with the bureaucracy, you still had this glimmer of excitement about what you were trying to say and do. That is passion, and that is inspiring.

To me, I would’ve maybe wanted to hear that college provides common people with the tools to accomplish uncommon acts, that, as cheesy as it sounds, knowledge is power. An education is the key to altering our situation. If we look around and don’t like what we see we owe it to ourselves to try to change it. The deck is already stacked against them, help them understand that in this day and age, only an education will provide them with the means to overcome that disadvantage. (This may have gone too far too... I am not trying to get you to start my revolution, yet.)

Good Luck, and let me know if there is anything I can do.

Jake

_________________________________________________________________________
Note: Next week, Judith will be addressing 300 high school juniors and seniors that are deemed to be "at-risk"  to not finish high school or otherwise not pursue higher education. She is developing a program at a local community college to encourage and foster student retention, specifically with these "at-risk" students. It is an ambitious project that makes me wonder what I've been doing with my time. Her request was for her circle of friends, family and co-workers to pitch in and help her gain a broader spectrum of understanding for the pros and cons of college, and what people can gain from it, if at all.

Exciting

Dear Mr. Martinez:

On behalf of the Dean, Faculty of Law, and the Admissions Committee, it gives me great pleasure to offer you admission to the entering class of Northern Illinois College of Law for the Fall of 2005. I congratulate you on meeting the high academic standards for admission and welcome you.

(blah, blah, blah)

If you have any questions or problems, please feel free to contact my office for assistance. May I again extend a warm welcome, and we look forward with enthusiasm to greeting you personally in the fall.

Sincerely yours,

Judith L. Malen
Director
Admission and Financial Aid

Things I believe:

I believe…

that a woman has a fundamental right to  choose an abortion.

there was a conspiracy to kill President Kennedy.

that I can do anything, if I believe in myself.

that we have a responsibility to make the  world a better place.

that people are inherently good.

the Constitution provided rights that had never been written.

in the freedom of the will.

in the power of the workers.

in social justice.

that we can do it.

we have a responsibility to insure the rights of the accused.

in protecting, and preserving the  environment.

that capital punishment is cruel and unusual.

that we can change the world.

that hate is learned.

that nonviolence is our strength.

in democracy.

in equality.

that patriotic dissent is our duty.

the designated hitter should be outlawed.

that we are surrounded by overlooked  beauty.

the ERA should have been ratified.

everyone has a right to an education.

no one should be denied the right to marry  whomever they choose.

nothing is achieved without passion.

that we should become the change that we  wish to see in the world.

that it takes a village.

that the rights of the individual are tantamount to national security.

that an education is more than reading, writing, and arithmetic.

the government is hiding something about 9/11.

that I can learn something from everyone I  meet.

that the universe is expanding.

that powers of war lie with Congress.

that one person can make a difference.

in love.

If you don't have passion...what else is there?

It was something my sister said to me tonight. She is very insightful. Like my friend Red used to say, "Get busy living, or get busy dying."

Real quick:
For those of you that are movie buffs, there is a website that will do the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon for you. It is very cool.

Also, I know the first rule is to not talk about it, but this site  makes a pretty good case for the parallels between Calvin and Hobbes and Fight Club. He actually goes as far as to say that the un-named Ed Norton character is an adult Calvin, and obviously Tyler is the adult version of Hobbes. A very interesting take...

Okay, so today was the day. My bag is here and it is pretty much the best that I know of. There is room for my laptop (and it is actually protected), several books, and lots of stuff. It is big, but no bigger than my backpack, or other bag. It will definitely take some getting used to though. The important things are that I bought a bag that is ideal for my computer, was made stateside by a company dedicated to social justice and environmental issues, so I can carry it in good conscience.

Well, I have a test tomorrow, so I am going to go take care of that. Talk to you more soon.

It happens everytime

I have just taken my last test for a couple of weeks, it feels mighty refreshing to know that it is over, if only for a little bit. I am at work, I am making a powerpoint presentation for the LD kids trying to teach them the ins and outs of math. It is actually coming out fairly well, except there seems to be one guy that doesn't like my animations, so I told him he was lucky he could even see the animations at all and that shut him up for a while.

Oh I went to a party with M and Em on Saturday and long story short, I got drunk....I didnt mean to, and I didnt realize it was happening at the time. You know you are having a good time, chatting and laughing with the typical party-goers, then WHAM! your a drunk fool who is slurring your words and yelling at everyone in a lame attempt to talk over them, which you wouldn't have to do if they would just shut up and let you talk, cause I mean lets face it, no one has anything interesting to say but you...fortunately I didnt make THAT much of an ass out of myself, and I am sticking to the story that it was an attempt at misdirection to keep the focus on me and not on my partners in crime.....we had a good time, and hopefully i wont have to face any of those folks any time soon as I think I may have dropped one or two instances of "After the revolution...(as in "After the revolution we arent going to need credit cards" ) and that always seems to make the "normal" folks a little uneasy.

Ok well I am off to tutor the minds of tomorrow, hopefully my students will be able to pick up what I am putting down on this whole Algebra business...

You know after the revolution, we wont need Algebra....

Planning (?)

Today...another interesting day....went to school...didnt really learn much in my campaigns and elections class or my law and medicine class. Ang and I did drive to Oak Cliff today. Of course Ang and the roommates are all scurred, but seeing as how I lived Boyz N Da Hood, I wasnt nervous.

I did some stuff at school today, I am going to meet with Dr. Kane to talk to her about possibly attending grad school to study sociology. I am looking forward to her input, she is very nice and I think she will hop on the straight talk express with me (with or without John McCain) and talk to me about what I want to do (no idea!) what I want to study (I have a small idea) where I want to go to school (like the election anywhere but texas). I signed up for a profile with the Career Center, got my on-campus email (finally) which is important because the school will not accept nor will they send emails to any email but the on-campus one....bitches.....I also signed up for a free online GRE tutoring....did 100 vocab words and got 80 of them right, which for me....well we will say its...uh....good.

Then went to my comparative politics class, it was actually very interesting....parties and such....then I talked to the utd dems vice president Emily Beer....we did some good talkin, I have this idea that there should be meetings for the membership and meetings for the exec board. they should be as often as possible without burning the membership out, but often enough to find out who the die hards are. I also have an idea to find out who we have available in the membership and come up with study hours. Basically everyone shows up, we study and if you are taking a class that I have taken, and I can help, then so be it. We have several seniors, several grad students and several freshmen and several in between. So I think that that would be a good way to give back to the membership since we are asking so much of them (volunteering for candidates and all kinds of stuff). Plus we get to know each other. I think that we should look at it as more than a political organization and social club, and utilize the resources available to us. Then I think maybe we could play like a republicans vs. democrats basketball or dodgeball game as a fundraiser....who knows....I'm just thinkin out loud here. Oh and I did agree to chair the labor committee for the utd dems, so i may be doing double duty (he-he I said double doodie) with the committee thing.....ok its late going to bed.....and remember "my shit ALWAYS works sometimes...."

Happenings

Okay friends it has become an interesting day....I woke up at like 730 this morning unable to sleep, so I got up to buy a paper and enjoy the serenity of the morning, while everyone is still sleeping. While I was doing this, I saw your president and (begrudgingly) mine talking about new-cue-lar weapons and how he is used to dealing with things and not passing them on....wait a second....we are talking about a president that squandered the greatest surplus our country has ever known, and pushed us into the greatest defecits we have seen in years....not passing on problems.....WTF!?! Please if you can explain any of that to me I welcome the time and I will even buy you a beer or two while you do...if you can....what did Bush call Iraq?...a catastrophic success (or something to that effect) John Edwards' response on the campaign trail..."I like most americans have no idea what the president is talking about..."  Anyway, unfortunately I went back to bed and stayed there until about 1130 when meredith and I got up and made breakfast for ANG, and ourselves.

Went to class...same old thing, except that last semester I was asked to write a letter of, essentially, recommendation for a professor that taught one of my favorite classes last fall: Social Movements by Dr. Melinda Kane....great class, great professor. She is going to do an independent study with me over the labor movement, how and why they strike, how courts interepret labor law etc etc etc...anyway, I had to give that letter to another of my favorite professors Dr. Pamela Brandwein....literally a god amongst mental midgets. She is pretty incredible....so my gender and law class was good plus I shared a moment with Dr. B.

I had a late lunch with the real worlders.....we ate some Qdoba....we are such freaks....Went to work...tutored Jordan and Tung in government and history respectively....very few things are better than getting to explain your favorite subjects to students who are so interested to learn that they are willing to go the extra miles to get tutored through our disability office.

Then the night got really interesting...I attended simultaneously the LULAC (league of united latin american citizens) meeting and the utd democrats meeting. Always a good time, but sadly I may have inadvertently agreed to sit as either chairperson, or co-chairperson of a committee or two for LULAC...I think she tricked me....other than that nothing much interesting has happened I have spent a few hours tonight looking for phd programs in sociology, political science or something to that effect....we shall see...that GRE makes my butthole pucker up.....like right when the cliffhanger lets go and you make that face. exactly. anyway. off to bed. more school. day to day to day. oh how about a "today in labor history?....."

August 31
10,000 striking miners began a fight at Blair Mountain, W.Va., for recognition of their union the UMWA. Federal troops were sent in, and miners were forced to withdraw 5 days later after 16 deaths - 1921

ok goodnight all....